Hello, I am Janelle Alcovindas and welcome to the dumpsite of my basurang buhay :))
Notice my change in uh, format? HAHA
Wala laaang. I thought of deleting this blog — AGAIN haha — buti napigilan :)) Kasi nakakapressure :)) Whenever I read other people’s blogs then I read mine. I cringe at all my drama and idiocy and shallow word bank HAHA — NAKAKAHIYAAA! Yes, that’s why I tend to kill my blogs. I feel like I must censor my own brain into writing total nonsense (like right now).
But then I remember all those unarchived old posts (and well, lost readers na rin).
I used to blog obsessively. I wrote about everything, even things I probably shouldn’t have written about. I would write blog posts in my head as things were still unfolding.
And at this point in my life, I feel sorry for that. I needed to save that for me (or if you are a stalker of my past of some sort, para sayo narin haha). Wala laaang kasi ngaa, masarap sa heart magbasa ng old journals — that feeling you get when you realize your change of perspectives and emotions suddenly being more complicated than the usual, parang uhm, parang kunwari naggrow ka, ganyan :))
I remember officially starting documenting history of myself and what-nots at first grade, kasi required sa school magjournal ganyan :)) My entries were most of the time half-filled with pointless, immature, rambling musings of an insecured bata. HAHA And of course, there are those AWSM places where mom and dad had been bringing me, and the even AWSMR places where we eat which I judge all of them, of fair heart and restricted vocabulary as: AWESOME. HAHA
I think about 20 journals followed shortly after that — consists of both old school styles which came with a lock and key, and “upgraded” ones that came with a password and followers — sad to say, not a single one of which, survived.
And now I feel sorry. Because as I threw all those pages away, I threw alongside certain chapters of myself. Needless to say, I NEVER GOT TO IMMORTALIZE SIGNIFICANT MILESTONES OF MY LIFE :(
Yes, I am an insecured bitch, ashamed of my past most of the time. But then when will I ever be proud of myself, if I’ll never get to see how much I learned as I got older?
Buti nalang, as I bore you with this post HAHA there are still more stories to write :)
Kaya naman, let it be known from now on, photographs, song lyrics, quotes and mindless scribbles from the incredibly craziest, saddest, happiest, and most violent sides of me shall go uncensored in this blog. I shall be lame and nonsensical and untitled and incoherent as I want and come that day that I leave this world — this blog shall be my mark — this small dot on the internet that is janellealcovindas.wordpress.com :))
Kaya ayun lang. COMMENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED PA RIN :P Like I said, I shall be crazy, sad, happy, violent, uncensored, lame, nonsensical, untitled and incoherent — and you, shall not make me realize that I am being such :)))))