Don’t Date A Girl With A Plastic Camera

Nothing sucks worse than a girl with a plastic camera.

You might find her in a sidewalk, lost behind her cheap plastic lens, the world blurred around her as she tries to capture a single moment in time. Be careful, I say, because there she is, right there, the girl with a look of concentration on her face as she contemplates a shot that called out to her as she was passing by. That one, obsessed with sprocket holes, the clicking sound of the shutter her favorite sound, that girl with a dirty pair of pants as she kneels down to get a better angle of her subject.

Oh the horror of taking a girl with a plastic camera to a restaurant. You will have to wait until forever as she skims the menu carefully, poring over photographs of food all the while wondering how they would look like in lomo. Having thought so, again, you’ll have to wait as she has taken snapshots of your food — in fisheye, in multiple exposures, in colorsplash — before digging in. You will hate the opportunity of having to listen to all her ideas for a photo shoot as you both eat your dinner.

Oh the nerve of a girl with a plastic camera. She shall never cease to take photos of you, she will post them on her blog and share them with her friends. You’d probably even throw a fit when you find out that she had them all printed, and posted on the left side of her bedroom wall (man, she admires you even before she goes to sleep at night? CREEPY) — worse, she had them all transferred into her mimibot flash drive to further showcase them in her 15-inch MacBook Pro, big and clear enough for her poor-eyed, non-online relatives.

You will abhore the fondness she always has had of you, and realize how poor she is at articulation — creating photographs of memories with you, is that even an evidence of love?

You wouldn’t even consider dating a girl with a plastic camera, as you will lose faith in your ego. I mean, what is up with that — she takes pictures of her slippers, the leafless trees, old lifeless buildings — what is that “something” she sees in the most “nothing” of things? She proudly boasts to you her accidental shots — them tampered all-over with long-length exposures, blurs, and streams of light — and calls them awesome? What, are you just another one of the uninteresting things she suddenly found in her monotonous life, in a certain angle, she finds interesting?

The girl with a plastic camera has shot out the account of her life and it is bursting with effects. She will make your life restless and miserable — she will always ask foradventures and lomowalks, she will influence you in looking at the world with a brand new perspective. Have I even told you about the pressure of putting up the photo she took of you as your profile picture (you know she’s secretly hoping for it)?

Never dare date a girl with a cheap plastic camera, I say, because she doesn’t think — all she cares about is looking at the world and putting a little of herself in it. She is never focused at knowing beforehand what she captured, afterwards either — application to your relationship: how would she know if the two of you have something special? She never cares about the rules — exposures and apertures and angles and thirds? To her, anything is possible — now why would spontaneity and invincibility be apt to you?

Trust me, never consider a girl with a cheap plastic camera. You will do her a favor and inspire her, and what will she do? I tell you, better gear up for she will

shoot you.

HAHAHA inspired by You Should Date An Illiterate Girl by Charles Wanke :) hihi I felt like writing this kasiiii NAEEXCITE NA AKO SA FIRST FEW SPROCKET SHOTS KOOOO ♥ Bukas na talaga heee :3


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