Step 1

Yknow why I keep a blog? Well, I prefer blogs to people, generally — they’re there anytime you need them, they don’t hit you in the head or walk away from you whenever you get overly dramatic, plus they don’t go bragging about what you have specified private to non-invited audience. But also, I used to live for the fact that I was a good blogger.

Now that I look back with my broken promises of posts, messy thoughts and lack of commitment to my readers, I find myself in need of self-redemption. I owe myself, and/or ego, a recovery from the downward slope I’ve been to. I need to reconcile my lost relationship with words.

Few things to keep in mind though:
1. No, I won’t be finishing the 30 Songs in 3 Days Challenge anymore. The purpose have been defeated anyway, plus I refuse to identify with the more intimate categories.
2. No, I won’t be posting grad pics anytime soon either. I have faith in one more sem left and I won’t dare risk it to any alleged grad pic posting curses.
3. I’ll try to lather on some wit, as well as focus less on feeding my depression. TRY.

Anyway, I just had to share. I had two realizations last night.

1. Wearing high heels isn’t really much of my talent. WHAT THEY WE’RE FOUR INCHES! Plus the ground wasn’t even. Let the truth be told, I needed the pump as it was after all, a concert. An event wherein the invisible force of good music magically pulls you up from your seat so as to be one with the waves of good vibes as you sing along with the crowd. I’m not tall, what if the guy in front of me blocks my view? Anyway, in case you haven’t heard yet, I twisted my ankle four times on the way to Trigger.

2. I can be very obsessed with the guys I really like. Unfortunately though, what I conceive, I cannot achieve. Or at least, I know not how to work for what I wish to achieve. “Binibigay na sa’yo ng universe sa harapan mo, dapat kumilos ka na!” as a friend would slap me in the face. But hey isn’t that the whole point of obsession? Longing, wishing praying that they think of me as much as I think of them and have the candid encounters of them passing by me, my heart melt in a beat be enough. And then feel tormented soon after knowing that they are not meant to stay forever.

Tss, life. Oops there goes that depressing tone again. Sorry :P


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